S1E6 - How Many Of Us Out There Are Having Great Sex With People We're Ashamed To Introduce To Our Friends?

Come into my room. Look at my bookshelf. You'll find a bunch of pretentious books. I love reading them. But I love how it makes me look pseudo intelligent even more. And then one night, during a drunken stupor, I start speaking in a Joisy accent and I quote Snooki of Jersey Shore. The fact that you recognize this makes you as guilty as I am. But that's my guilty pleasure. I love trashy TV and I'm not proud to admit it.

We all have skeletons in our closets. I'm running out of room in mine. Here's the thing. There are various reasons why someone would not introduce the person they are sleeping with, even though the sex is awesome. One, he's married or attached. Two, you're married or attached. Three, he's Osama Bin Laden. And four, he didn't like Darwin and decided to evolve halfway from an ape.

I once went out with a 'Three'. No, he doesn't have a beard and loves things that go BANG! Pun intended. Just that everyone hated him - prior to me going out with him. Plus, he had two left feet dancing the horizontal tango, which left me no desire to even broadcast the fact that I was seeing this guy. So why did it matter if my friends knew or not? I guess deep down, I realized it reflected on me. The fact that I'm dating someone that much of a shithead probably makes me that much of a shithead for seeing something in that shithead that must be shit in order for him to be called a shithead. And because they are your friends, you want them to like you for who you've made them believe you are. You've invested all those years, why ruin it now over some shithead?

And then there is that combination of 'One' and 'Two'. The bedroom department might be banging, pun intended. Sometimes you just want to stand on the roof and yell your lungs out because you're that euphoric. And you might want to share it with your friends and introduce this sex god. But the fear of being judged starts creeping in and it will always linger at the back of your mind. You don't want them to think ill of you. Also, seeing that you are a 'One' or 'Two' or a combination of both, it's best if you kept things on the down low. Is it me or does everything reek of double entendres? Jokes aside. You might not be ashamed of what you're doing, but you're ashamed of the outcome and how society perceives you. So what do you do? You keep mum about it. Oh, you also keep her from finding out.

This is what I think. Wouldn't it be or feel great if you could just say "Hi, meet my friend John Jingleheimer Schmidt. By the way, we're fucking and it's awesome!" So don't beat yourself up for being ashamed... just beat off to it. 'Cos trust me honey, it sucks keeping a secret from your friends and it's worse feeling shame.

And lastly, what if the roles were reversed?