S1E2 If Models Could Cause Otherwise Rational Individuals To Crumble in Their Presence, Exactly How Powerful Was Beauty?

That whole hullabaloo about beauty being in the eye of the beholder is complete rubbish. Are you telling me that you can find more than 70% of the world’s population that don’t find Brangelina attractive? Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder because the beholder, for the most part, is a pool of universal consensus.

In my experience being smart, funny, and sensitive just doesn’t cut it anymore. If you don’t warrant 10 or more Facebook comments on a photo together, you are not the person I want to date at this moment.

The simplest example would be at a bar. You know, because when singles on the prowl scout a bar, they are looking for inner beauty. They don’t look for the guy with the defined abs and $25 product in their hair. They look for the guy who has a PhD in Film Studies and has intriguing opinions on the signing of the Kyoto protocol, right?

Recently this shallow, but in no way uncommon, behaviour has been cushioned by what has become my favourite excuse since, “It’s not you, it’s me.” It goes something like…

“Sure, it’s important that brains accompany the beauty. But isn’t the beauty the initial attraction?”

I cannot diss that gem of a line because I’ve been guilty of using it on more than one occasion, but just when does this ‘initial attraction’ go past the initial stages?

I live smack in the middle of the city in a country filled with Caucasians. And as much as I hate to stereotype (as you may be able to tell by this bloggationship between a fabulous gay man and his even more fabulous straight woman he sports on his arm) there always has been a little label for older Caucasian men and Asian women who can barely string together sentences.

In a city that over the past five years has become so overpopulated that the average price of a two-bedroom apartment is more than half a million dollars, are there really no eligible, older women? Women who not only wore Versace back when Donatella didn’t look like Joan Rivers, but women who can actually pronounce Versace. Ask said men why they date these young, attractive, and grammatically challenged ladies and they would tell you that it’s easy. That just begs the question, “And what exactly, kind sir, are you referring to?”

While we’re on our high horses, waving our fingers to these scoundrels who only re-enforce the fact that men think with their penises, are we really in any position to judge them? Can we honestly tell ourselves that given the choice, at this point in our lives, we’d pick the guy with the IQ of 120 and not the guy whose chest measures 120 centimetres?

Chances are, you’ll say that you’d like the latter for a quickie at noon and the former for a noon shopping for groceries at Quickie Mart. You do know that such an excuse only exists in a parallel universe where the “initial attraction” excuse is valid, right?

So the next time you squint your big, brown and judgemental eyes, try putting yourself in the old Caucasian man’s shoes. It’s not that hard. After all, all his choices seem to be pretty ‘easy.’