Seven years ago I met the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with. We met through a group of mutual friends, at a bar where we all got together for mid-week drinks. I’ve almost never hung around people my own age. These people were all fresh graduates, with new jobs and pay checks they thought they have to contribute to happy hour.
When we met I was instantly smitten. We had a seven-year age gap, which when you think about it is not too bad. I was seven years younger to a newly-minted professional. You do the math.
Four years we spent together - four amazing, wonderful, tumultuous and torturous years. It took me a year to get over him, and another year before I started talking to him again. In that time, I never had a (comparatively) significant relationship. At first it was because I didn’t want one – I had spent the better part of my prime as a gay man in a monogamous (well, given his history SOMEWHAT monogamous) relationship. I felt that it was time I spread my wings. And by wings I mean legs.
So I did. In between all of that I did have my fair share of ‘boyfriends.’ There were some guys that I met whom I felt I could not just be in a physical relationship with. Safe to say none of those worked out because two years and countless men (okay, maybe four) later, I’m back at square one. I don’t want a relationship.
I’ve been seeing this great guy for about six months now. We’re not in a relationship. We sleep together. He buys me soup when I’m sick. I pick him up when he’s stranded at the train station. I feel upset when he does not show up for my performances. He thinks I should make an effort to meet his friends. That’s what no strings attached is, right? Clearly I’m a pro.
I found out a few months ago that my ex-boyfriend (the first one) met the girl (yes, he’s one of those mythical ‘real’ bisexuals) of his dreams, and they’ve decided to get married.
Why would I want a relationship? The only man I ever saw myself with is getting married. I’m in a non-relationship relationship with a guy I had a no-strings agreement with. My life is in perfect order. Who needs a relationship? I don’t.
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