Wednesday, August 18, 2010

S1E8 - Were Threesomes The New Sexual Frontier?

Call me selfish. I hate sharing. Be it clothes, my gadgets, food, (certain) information, let alone men. Now why would I want my boyfriend/whoever I'm sleeping with to look at another naked woman other than myself? He's seen me more than enough times, of course additional fresh meat to the platter would seem more appealing. Are you kidding me? If KFC added its 12th herb/spice, I'd be excited!

You would not believe the list of bullshit men are willing to say to get their girlfriends to agree to a threesome. Ones I've gotten and heard are:

1. No kissing between me and her.
2. No penetration between me and her.
3. You pick who you want.
4. Ok, I'll just watch the two of you make out.

So I struck a deal. I said fine, we'll do that. ONLY if you promise I can have a threesome with two guys. And that is exactly why I'm still a threesome virgin. 

If you think having this conversation with a boyfriend is awkward enough, try having it with a friend. What do you say when your girlfriend tells you her boyfriend too suggested a threesome... but he would like that third person to be you. This right here is a red flag. Is she trying to hint something? If she is, it's as weird as the spelling you see in Sungai Wang. And if she's not, you're left feeling awkward like if she were to fart mid sentence. And if you guys are close enough to by pass all that, you don't know how to tell her her boyfriend is a sex fiend. Not to mention he's a retard for even saying something like that to his girlfriend. And that you don't want to hang around him anymore, because it is as awkward as having tea with your rapist.

Let's spice it up a lil and hypothetically say, what if a guy friend asks you to participate with his girlfriend. Now why would I want to see you naked, let alone your girlfriend? If I wanted to see you naked, I would've asked you, like a normal person would. If I wanted to see your girlfriend naked, I would've Facebooked her, like any straight woman who would like to sleep with her friend's straight girlfriend just for fun would. So don't ask me that. I'll tweet you if need be.

Bottom line, what is the hype all about? Personally, I think it's a get out of cheating jail free card. Your partner is not allowed to get mad at you while you eat some woman's Bak Kut Teh when you've been devouring hers all these years. With her watching too! And people, the context was strictly referring to her cooking you Bak Kut Teh everyday because that's your favorite meal, and now she has to watch you eat someone else's cooking and not be offended. It has nothing to do with eating parts of her body and what nots because I would never disrespect Bak Kut Teh that way. Never.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

BRB

We apologise for the lack of updates recently. We're both in the midst of playing jetsetters, and posting will resume next week :)

Tell your friends!